This is truly insane
Monday: maths ip
Tuesday: amaths tuition
Wednesday: pure chemistry and pure physics tuition
Thursday: emaths tuition
Friday: pure physics tuition @ aspen
But kinda good in a sense that i can keep myself busy so that i have no time to have suicidal thoughts. I begin to hate going back to see my psychiatrist cos i felt that it's a waste of time, money and effort. So, i must try to get myself well soon! I think that i am perfectly normal now cos i never dislike food like i was in the past, just that i am down with stress, anxiety and depression. And that doctor kept advising me to take medicine, which i refused whenever she asked. So irritating!
Of cos, in school have to keep myself on cloud nine so that things will not get too bad when i reached home, when i am alone in my room studying as that's the point of time when my mind can run real wild in having suicidal thoughts. Its kinda using the happiness i have in school to balance out with the thoughts which are unfavourable to my mentality conditions now. I was really happy when some of my friends who knew about my mental health conditions told me that i don't look like i am depressed and things like that =)
That was of no choice
No choice- since the 1st try of throwing the javelin already got me into the 1st place of the whole event
No choice- therefore i need to attend the annual sports meet
No choice- hence i conveniently agreed to do 1st aid duty as a first aid duty
